The Guide
by The Shadow of Nothingness
Summary: Summary: Dave and Claire are leaving on a three week holiday, and have placed Paige in charge of writing up the guide for the babysitter. She adds previous happenings and very helpful tips, only hoping that the babysitter leaves still alive after three weeks. DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, this is my first story, so here! Hope you like it!**

**Oh, before I forget: I DO NOT OWN ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS OR BRITTANY AND THE CHIPETTES, THEY BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS ROSS B AND JANICE... oh crap... y'know those people... I do not own that boat, Im just floating around in the wake.**

**_Guide to Surviving Life in the Seville/Wilson/ Thompson/Clarke/Robinson Household. _**

Summary: Dave and Claire are leaving on a three week holiday, and have placed Paige in charge of writing up the guide for the babysitter. She adds previous happenings and very helpful tips, only hoping that the babysitter leaves still alive after three weeks.

**Chapter 1**

_I sat down next to Kay-Kay on the couch with my laptop, staring at an empty word document. Dave had told me that I had to write up a Guide to help the babysitter survive the next three weeks. To be honest, among Alvin and Brittany's arguments, Jeanette's clumsiness and insecurity, Simon's constant need to correct your grammar and Theo and Ellie's dominance over the kitchen, I don't know how Nicole, Kay-Kay and I survive in here. Maybe its because we are just as crazy as the 'Munks and 'Ettes are._

_Either way, I still have to write up this Guide thing. _

_Jeanette leaped up onto the couch and walked onto the keyboard of my laptop._

_"Maybe you should start with giving it a title?" she suggested innocently. Kay-Kay nodded in agreement. I thought for a moment, then heard Theo's drums making a huge noise and had some inspiration._

_I began to type the title and a few rules when a certain red clad chipmunk slid down the banister of the stairs and bounded to the couch, jumping onto my laptop also. He slid to the center of the keyboard and read what I had written so far._

_"That title sucks! It should be 'This is how AWESOME Alvin is!' shouldn't it Jeanette?" Alvin asked. Jeanette began to stutter. _

_"I- I- Well, maybe I mean-"_

_Kay- Kay flicked Alvin off my laptop. "That is not the title, and you know that you're not allowed to peer pressure Jeanette," she chastised. I gave Alvin a stern look to go with Kay-Kay's statement when I thought of something. _

_"I should probably write that one down," I began to type when I heard skittering of tiny claws on the tiles. I looked up to find Britt._

_Brittany was passing through when she saw the two fuzzies sitting on my laptop. "What are you guys doing?" she asked. I picked her up and placed the pink chipette on the couch next to me._

_"Dave wanted me to write up that Guide, remember?" I explained. Brittany's face showed recognition and her mouth fell into a perfect little 'o' as she recalled that day. It was the same day that Dave had banned her from wearing a whole bunch of clothes._

_Simon came down the stairs, and saw Jeanette. "You guys working on the Guide? I thought that was just for Paige to do?"_

_I nodded. "Yeah, but you guys are a big influence considering the Guide revolves around you all."_

_Theo and Ellie came through one of the doors and were about to disappear into the kitchen when they noticed the rest of the gang were on the couch. The two little chipmunks joined us on the couch, innocently peering at my laptop__._

_"Dude! Its like a ghost house in here!" Nicole called from the kitchen, "Where are you all?" Nicole stepped around the corner. _

_"Oh there you are," she said, and sat down on my other side, the nine of us now sitting here adding pieces to the Guide._

_-Later-_

_The babysitter, Meredith, walked in to find three teenage girls and six chipmunks all sleeping on the couch. The laptop was open and still turned on, but no one noticed as they were off in Dreamland._

_Jeanette was curled up on the keyboard of the laptop, while Theodore and Ellie sleeping in the nook between Paige and Kay-Kay. Alvin was curled up on Paige's elbow, snoring. Next to them was Nicole. On Nicole's shoulder was Simon, and in her cradled right hand was a sleeping Brittany._

_Meredith smiled and gently picked up Jeanette, and then took the laptop. She placed Jeanette back down on Paige's lap before the chipette stirred and then went to turn the laptop off._

_Before she hit the close button on the open Word document, she noticed first two words._

_'Dear Meredith' it read. Meredith frowned in confusion, then sat down on the table to read it. Before she had even fully read the title, Meredith noticed that it was over six pages long._

_'More than six whole pages of rules?' the babysitter thought to herself. 'Yikes…'_

_Meredith gently shook the redhead's shoulder, rousing Paige awake. She blinked her eyes open and yawned, barely moving as she felt the sleeping chipmunks on her arm and stomach. _

_"Wha?..." she mumbled. Meredith smiled._

_"Can I print off the guide you've written up?" she asked softly. Paige nodded before falling back asleep._

_Meredith sent the document to the printer before saving it and shutting the computer down. She held the warm papers in her hand and stapled them together with the stapler on the desk by the printer before walking into the kitchen and reading the guide._

* * *

**Whoo! Chapter 1! More coming dont worry, and I know its short, but what did you think of the first chapter?**

**Ugh, my friends will read this and think im crazy... (walks off sobbing)**

**-edit-  
Yes, I changed a couple of names, dont yell. Jeez.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Whoot! I have chapter two! Not a big feat considering its prewritten. Read on!**

**Oh, and I still dont own AaTC or anything. I only own Paige. I dont even own Kay-Kay or Nicole. It sucks. All rights and ideas go to the original owners, who are not me. I own this story and Paige.**

**Chapter 2**

**"Dear Meredith,"** The page started. **"This household is very hard to maintain, so you gotta be tough. My name is Paige, and I don't know if Dave and Claire have introduced us humans, but Nicole, Kay-Kay and I live here with the Chipmunks and the Chipettes. This is a very hectic house, but I'm sure you'll be able to put up with everything. Although, no one can survive here without some knowledge of what goes on. The 'Munks and 'Ettes are most likely going to inform you that they're allowed to do something when I assure you they aren't. Therefore, I was selected by Dave himself (I make Dave sound so special) to write up this Guide. I urge you to read it before going to sleep so it sticks in your brain. I just got that sentence from Simon, but he used to many mumbo jumbo words. Everyone's rolling their eyes now…**

**Anyhow, without further ado, I present:**

**The Guide to Surviving Life in the Seville/Wilson/ Thompson/Clarke/Robinson Household.**

**The residents of this household are Me, Nicole, Kay-Kay, Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette and Eleanor.  
**Me: Yu-huh. My name is Paige and I'm the redhead who wears the blue skirt and black shirt with the white and navy long sleeved shirt underneath. Nicole is the short brunette with long hair, a green dress, black stockings and orange legwarmers… plus her black headband. Kay-Kay is the brunette with short hair, a Captain America t-shirt, a denim skirt, and yellow socks with white sneakers.  
Nicole: You should know the 'Munks and 'Ettes by now.  
Brittany: We're kind of world famous.  
Kay-Kay: Hush.  
Me: Anyway, the 'Munks and 'Ettes are thirteen years old (give or take), while Nicole and I are eighteen. I can almost hear you panicking.  
**  
We are all in a band.  
**Me: Yu-huh. Alvin's on the guitar, Simon is bass, Theo is drums, Britt plays piano, Jeanie plays the saxophone, Eleanor has the epic triangle, Nicole's on flute, Kay-Kay plays the trumpet and I play the guitar as well as Alvin.  
Nicole: -walks past singing-  
Me: Oh, and we all sing.  
Alvin: The humans force us to play 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Thin Lizzy constantly.  
Claire: -walks past with her luggage- Dancing in the moonlight, its got me in its spotlight…

**This is a very musical household, so don't be surprised if you hear singing or music at midnight or three am.  
**Alvin: Yeah, like last week.

_Last Week_

_The whole house was in bed, only few asleep. Alvin and Britt were arguing through text messages, Nicole was up reading fanfiction and texting her boyfriend, Simon and Jeanette were each watching Planet Earth together, and Paige was up watching Walking with Dinosaurs while listening to music, Kay-Kay was memorizing her sheet music for her studies and the two little ones, Eleanor and Theodore, were sleeping peacefully. _

_All of a sudden, the house that was dead silent (apart from the two shows) was filled with a soft voice singing along to her music. Alvin joined in with Paige's singing even though they were in a different room, and Nicole joined in to harmonize the two of them. Eventually, the whole house excepting Ellie and Theo were singing 'Safe' at two o clock in the morning._

**We all name our instruments.  
**Me: Its true. My guitar is the Black Beauty (not a Squeakquel reference, I swear) Alvin's guitar is, well one is the Black Beauty and the red one is Fire Storm, Britt's piano is Hope, Simon's Bass is the Bluesy Tune, Jeanette's sax is Tweedledee, Eleanor's triangle is Little Star (coz it goes 'twinkle twinkle'), Theodore's drums are all Escargot, Kay-Kay's trumpet is Jonathon and Nicole's flute is Hale.  
Jeanette: Ellie, I thought youre triangle was Twinkle?  
Eleanor: No. I changed the name coz Alvin called it 'Tinkle'

**Always remember to keep a spare bag of cheese balls somewhere. Alvin goes nuts without them.**  
Britt: Puns aren't funny.  
Me That didn't have a pun- oh… right, sorry.

**Chipmunk or rodent puns are not taken lightly in this house.**  
Me: Yeah, just don't even bother with them.  
Alvin: -walks in singing Big Girls Don't Cry-  
Nicole: Hey Alvin, where are you storing your nuts?  
Alvin: -_- Thats just wrong

**Never eave jacks lying around. Or really anything small and sharp.  
**Me: You have no idea how many times we had to take Jeanette to the vet for that one.  
Nicole: And ME to the HOSPITAL because there was a JACK in my FOOT**.**

**Vet trips are regular.  
**Simon: Between Jeanette falling over onto jacks and Alvin getting distracted while skittering along the gutter, the local vets have actually reserved a room just for us.  
Nicole: And the hospital has a room reserved for us. Y'know coz of all of Kay-Kay's wrestling injuries and Paige's diseases.  
Brittany: And your clumsiness, Nicole.

**Alvin is not allowed to pressure Jeanette into doing anything she doesn't want to.  
**Alvin: If she wants to do it then how is it possibly pressuring her?  
Ian: That's what she said.  
Brittany&Jeanette: EW!  
Me: Woah! When did he get here?  
Simon: I dont know, but he seems to be running off anyway.

**The majority of us have dirty minds.  
**Simon: And who's fault is that?  
Me: I'm sorry! Jeez! I forgot that you guys were raised with cotton balls in your ears.  
Alvin: That's what she said.  
Me: No! Bad! I'm going to get blamed if you keep saying that! Wait-  
Eleanor: How is that even dirty?  
Alvin: -creepy face- I'll never tell... Heh... Heh.. Heh...  
Everyone: O.o

**You are absolutely NOT allowed to touch anyone's instruments without their permission.  
**Me: This is a rule that even Alvin follows.  
Brittany: Yeah, only because he knows how special his guitars are, and he knows the hurt we feel when he ruins our instruments. Right Alvin?  
Alvin: Yup. Especially since Paige snapped the neck of Fire Storm when I got scratches all over her Black Beauty.  
Me: It was hard to do, hurting an instrument like that…  
Alvin: Then why did you do it?  
Me: Because you ruined my Black Beauty.

**We tend to use the word 'ruined' in a lot of contexts.**  
Me: -pops up behind Britt while she's putting on her lip-gloss-  
_-Britt's lip-gloss smears everywhere-  
_Brittany: YOU RUINED ME!

**Nicole loves her anime, manga Japanese stuff.**  
Nicole: Mine. -pulls all her Japanese possessions close-  
Kay-Kay: Alvin ripped up your Hikaru plushie.  
Nicole: -rage-

**Never change the channel when Brittany's watching 'Hot and Not' or whatever its called.  
**Alvin: Like last night when Paige turned it onto a live concert and Britt mauled her face off.  
Me: I HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND HAVE A TETANUS SHOT! *goes off and rocks back and forth in the corner*  
Brittany: Uh… Sorry?  
Alvin: Dont be sorry, it was hilarious.  
Me: -_- I dont like it when you say that.  
Alvin: XP  
Simon: Get used to it.  
Me: BUT I HAD TO GO TO HOSPITAL! Its a scary place...

**Paige does NOT deal well with doctors, hospitals and needles.  
**Jeanette: -gestures to Paige still rocking in the corner-She had a panic attack once when she smelt the antiseptic cream for Nicole's arm  
Alvin: She can only go into a vet's office without hyperventilating. No doctors, no clinics, no hospitals.  
Simon: She had a massive cut running down her arm and bloodied knuckles but she didn't let us go near her with any type of medical antiseptic.  
Nicole: Just Band-Aids.  
Brittany: It was kinda sad...

**Do not, I repeat NOT ever take Alvin to a bull fighting contest!  
**Me: Does this one even need an explanation?  
Theodore: He aggravates the bulls while wearing red and thinking he's invincible. It's pretty self-explanatory from there.  
Eleanor: More vet trips...

**Alvin does try to be Jimi Hendrix often.**  
Alvin: What do you mean 'try'?  
Me: Alvin, you're a right handed chipmunk named Alvin Seville. Jimi Hendrix was a left handed self-taught black guy named, wait for it, _Jimi Hendrix_.  
Alvin: … I'm a self-taught guitarist...  
Me: Oh sweetie… -rubs temple-

**Paige tends to go to her parents house a LOT to see her dog**.  
Jeanette: Both Paige and Nicole went to the house and came home smelling like a dog.  
Eleanor: Alvin bit them.  
Nicole: He better not be rabid

**Dogs, cats and really any animal bigger than the chipmunks are not allowed in or near the house.  
**Jeanette: Alvin thinks he's invincible, Brittany thinks she's superwoman and the rest of us don't come out of hiding for three days.  
Simon: What is it with Alvin, invincibility and the vet's?

**When Kay-Kay's mother comes over the chipmunks have to hide because Kay-Kay's mother doesn't like the chipmunks and doesn't actually know they're there.**  
Eleanor: -falls to knees dramatically- Why must she hate us so?  
Brittany: Thats something Alvin would do, Ellie.

**The chipmunks aren't allowed to play a Wii game that involves swinging the remote at all. NO EXCEPTIONS.  
**Me: 'Hide Broken TV From Dave' might be Alvin's second favorite game but 'Finding Broken TV' is Dave's LEAST favorite game.  
Nicole: Us humanoids are allowed to play Wii Bowling, but the strap doesn't fit around the 'Munks or the 'Ettes so it slips off.  
Alvin: You guys suck.

**If you have abs or a slim stomach, don't even THINK about wearing a tight shirt or a mid-riff.  
**Eleanor: Britt goes on a crazed couple of days trying to get abs.  
Jeanette: We try to explain that it's practically physically impossible for a chipmunk, but she wont listen.

**Always monitor Alvin's choice of movie, and watch the movie with him in case he changes it.  
**Eleanor: Poor Theo had had nightmares for weeks.  
Simon: Basically, Paige let him put on Iron Man after Britt watched Marley and Me.  
Me: I made the mistake of leaving the house to meet up with the guys, and well…  
Theo: ALVIN CHANGED THE MOVIE TO NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET!

**No horror movies after seven o clock.**  
Me: Anyone seen the old chipmunk cartoon movies? If so, have you seen Alvin and the Chipmunks meet the Wolfman?  
Alvin: Woah, woah, woah! You mean there was more than just US?  
Me: Alvin, you guys were created to keep the line of advancing chipmunk movies going.  
Britt: Woah, Munk-ception.  
Me: Anyway, there is a line at the start of the movie that refers to Alvin having nightmares from watching scary movies late at night.  
Nicole: Simon and Theo make bets and keep tallies on which monster the nightmare is about.  
Jeanette: Is Brittany one of those monsters?  
Brittany: Funny, funny.

**Thanks to that last rule discussion, I must now inform you that the chipmunks are not allowed to reenact any of the scenes from the cartoons.**  
Alvin: Aw... I was almost looking forward to 'The Boys and Girls of Rock and Roll'.  
Jeanette: Have you even seen the way the boys dance in that one yet?  
Alvin: No, its taking forever to load on YouTube.  
Eleanor: Its cringe-worthy.  
Me: Nicole and I pretty much threw up at the pelvic thrust.  
Alvin&Simon&Theo: THE _WHAT_?!  
Brittany: -falls over laughing- You still wanna reenact it Alvie?

**NO FANFICTION. Leaving my laptop open with a fanfic on the screen was SUCH a bad idea.  
**Theo: But it got Simon and Jeanette together.  
Me: Yes and that's adorable and all, but it also got Brittany screaming and clawing at anyone named Charlene or Nicole.  
Nicole: More hospitals, more bills and more tetanus shots.

**Britt has attitude. She needs an attitude adjustment. And it is _not_ coming anytime soon.  
**Alvin: Ain't that the truth.

**People in this house like to get revenge.  
**Theodore: And it usually hurts.  
Alvin: Payback's a bitch.  
Me: -points finger- No.

**NO SWEARING.  
**Eleanor: This is a fairly simple rule to follow. If your about to swear, turn the word into something else, and if you hear a one of us swear, you discipline.  
Alvin: Why no swearing anyway? Our minds are already horribly dirty.  
Me: That's the thing, you guys have sick minds already! If you start swearing, I'll have the blame!  
Jeanette: If you want to be specific, there are words we can't say and words we can. There's a list.

**No 'doof doof' music!  
**Alvin: Why not?  
Me&Nicole: BECAUSE IT SUCKS!  
Kay-Kay: And no loud music after 9:00pm. The authorities came over when I was practicing my trumpet.

**A few fights tend to break out every so often. Usually between Alvin and Simon.  
**Me: What is it with you two anyway?  
Alvin: -shrugs-  
Simon: -rolls eyes- Its LAvin being an idiot, and me having to clean up for him despite the fact that Im _younger _than him.  
Alvin: You bet youre younger! I am supreme! -pulls a 'Fire Power' pose-  
Simon: ... Im leaving. -walks out of the room quietly-  
Alvin: I think he's a little mad.  
Brittany: No freaking duh!  
Jeanette: ... -quickly scitters out of the room after Simon-  
Nicole&Kay-Kay: -look at me-  
Me: What the heck are you looking at me for?  
Nicole: Youre the one whose good at comforting. Go.  
Me: ... I hate you so much...

* * *

**I know that last part seemed really OOC for... well anyone especially Simon, but there is a REASON for it. See, I have a plot (kinda), my friends would be proud. **

**Oh, and that antiseptic story about me having a panic attack is true. Now Kay-Kay forces me into the sick bay every time she goes just to mess with me.**

**Yes this has been edited, and that bit where Alvin pulls the creepy face is from "How Avengers should have ended" where Loki is all like "Ill never tell," and he goes into a creepy laughing fit. I thought it seemed perfect placing. I dont own the video, just found it on YouTube.**

**Review! I need love!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Look its an update!  
Simon: Such a rare beast is never seen!  
Me: ... *looks around* Where the hell did you just come from?  
Simon: Theres something you're forgetting.  
Me: What? Oh right the disclaimer! I DO NOT own Alvin and the Chipmunks, they belong to Ross B!  
Alvin: Who?**

**Chapter 3**

**(A/N This is not what's happening as Meredith's reading, this is a whole chapter on what happens outside the laptop after Simon walks out.)**

_Paige walked down the hall and lifted her hand to knock on the boys door when she saw Jeanette standing in front of the door. Just standing._

_"Jeanette?" the human asked and Jeanette jumped. Paige smiled and knocked on the door._

_"Its open," was the quiet reply she recieved. The redhead opened the door and gestured for Jeanette to go in. The chipette scampered across the floor and onto Simon's bed where he was currently writing on papers. It looked like math homework. Paige lingered in the doorway before stating she'd be back and disappearing down the hall._

_When Paige walked through the living room Alvin jumped to his back paws and bounded across the floor to her. He used his claws to crawl up Paige's clothes while she was still walking and climbed onto her head. Alvin hung down in front of Paige's eyes. _

_"Is Simon okay? I'm in real big trouble huh? Is Jeanette in there with him? Do you really think that's wise?" Alvin asked half a million questions at once. Paige stopped walking when she was in the door way of the kitchen and pulled the chipmunk off her face._

_"Simon is fine, I'm in the middle of fixing it. You are not in trouble , in fact its close to Paige's story time. Jeanette's there with him and it is wise because I have this all sorted out. Now, who wants a hot drink?" Paige called out louder so that the ones in the living could hear her. Five calls of 'ME' came from the living room plus Alvin waved his hand in the air shouting 'ME, ME, ME!' frantically. Paige smiled, before getting out nine cups._

_One for everyone._

_Eleanor, Theodore, Brittany and Alvin had hot chocolates, Nicole had a white hot chocolate and Paige made herself a mocha. When everyone else had their drinks, Paige made two extra little hot chocolates and put them on a tray, fit with cookies. Paige walked down the hall and to the boys room again, knocking on the now closed door._

_"I have the best ever remedy for being angry at siblings and other assorted people, so you have to let me in," she joked. The door handle turned and Paige was greeted with a blue clad chipmunk._

_"Ah, so you have returned from your fortress of solitude?" Paige giggled and walked in while Simon rolled his eyes._

_"Well, the fortress is melted with the heat of hot chocolate," Simon said as he eyed the drinks. Paige handed one to him and then gave a mug to Jeanette. They had all taken a sip when Paige plopped down cross-legged on the floor._

_"So... Wassup?" Paige asked, raising her mug to her face. Simon chuckled dryly._

_"Thats how you start a conversation?" _

_Jeanette satyed quiet and watched the two converse while sipping her hot chocolate._

_"It is now. You wanna tell me whats up with you and your brother?" Paige asked Simon. The chipmunk stayed quiet and sipped at his hot chocolate._

_"Simon," Paige pressed with a steel tone._

_"I don't know. He just… Alvin is a pig-headed egotistical nut job that can't keep his mouth shut. It just happens too much, he'll say something about me or Theo and…" Simon trailed off and Jeanette rubbed his back compassionately._

_"Hey, you can take it from me, being a kid is not easy. Let alone being a famous, international rock-star teenager whose brother is crazy and annoying. When I was thirteen I was an aspiring musician who jumped at any gig possible. And my sister was a brainiac. Ellie had the highest grades in her class and she had the class work of the next level up. Her homework was done the night she got it even though she had three weeks to complete it. And I was always in my room, playing my guitar or singing until my throat was sore. Literally, I'm not kidding, that actually happened a couple times."_

_The two chipmunks giggled before Paige continued._

_"The thing was that, my sister became really bitchy when she turned ten. I was always in my little rocker world, but she changed. And it killed me. She started dropping rude comments and it only got worse when she turned thirteen. She would pull on my hair when I got a wrong chord even though she didn't even know what a chord was. One day I was playing my guitar softly, so that she didn't hear when I heard a crash and Ellie scream in anger. I rushed in to help her, but she didnt want any help. We fought and I said some stuff I really, _really _regret. I called her a heartless and cold bitch."_

_Jeanette gasped. Paige nodded and kept talking._

_"Ellie slapped me. It didn't hurt because I was used to bad injuries, but it ripped my heart out. I stormed out of the room. Packed a bag of clothes, put my guitar in its case and took off. It was pouring with rain but I didn't care. I lived at Nicole's house since then."_

_Simon and Jeanette looked almost horrified that that could happen to siblings. Jeanette frowned._

_"That wouldn't happen to Alvin and Simon would it?" she asked, clutching the chipmunks arm. Paige shook her head._

_"God I hope not. But those two arent that bad when they fight," Piage looked at Simon, "Are you?" Simon shook his head. T__he chipmunk got up got up. _

_"We better go patch things up then, shouldn't we?" he said smiling. Paige grinned. _

_"Yes! I have done it!" she cried out. The three of them went back out to the living room. __All anyone saw was a small red blur coming straight towards Simon._

_"SIMON! MY BRO! I'LL BE NICER TO YOU! I SWEAR! AND ILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER TEASE YOU FRO BEING YOUGNER THAN ME AGAIN!" Alvin cried, his back paws not touching the ground while he held onto his brothers blue hoodie. Simon smirked._

_"Really?" he asked, raising one eyebrow. Alvin nodded solemnly._

_"Really."_

_"Alright, I forgive you." _

_Alvin jumped off his brother with happiness, pumping his paws in the air. Paige smiled and brushed the chipmunks along._

_"Come on guys, I've gotta keep writing this Guide."_

_Everyone jumped back onto the couch as they began coming up with helpful tips and rules once more._

* * *

**Me: Wow that was so out of of character I almost died. It was absolute sh-  
Alvin: And you tell us not to swear.  
Brittany: Hypocrite.  
Jeanette: Did anyone else notice how incredibly short this chapter is?  
Me: Yes...  
**

**Review!**

**The bit where Alvin kept saying 'Ever' was from Monsters vs Aliens when Derek goes 'No, I will admit that it never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER crossed my mind.'**

**I need more rules/guidelines! If you can help with that please? I wont be able to update until I get some more stuff.**


	4. AN

**Kay, so...**

**People keep saying how they want me to keep up teh chapters and stuff. I am now explaining kindly that i cannot keep up chapters as, aforementioned, I HAVE NO MORE RULES! PLEASE HELP ME!**

**If you want the Guide to continue, its in your hands.**

**Go.**


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, until further notice, no chapters will be available because i have lost my laptop charger, and have to get a new one. Which will be horribly hard to find considering i have an EXTRA OLD model. Sorry.


	6. I FEEL SO BAD

**Okay, guys, Im really sorry about this. Ive decided to go with the very very very good idea of finishing one story before starting a new one. So, I will be completely putting all my focus into 'Perfection Youre Imperfections' on my Fictionpress site, under the name 'The Shadow of Nothingness' (such a big difference from this huh?) **

**You cannot belive how sorry i am, but if i just focus on one story, ill eventually finish it, and get them all done.**

**So please, go read, and keep in mind how awfully sorry i am to do this to you. I feel so so so so so so so so SO MEGA bad!**


	7. Discontinued

The Guide has been discontinued. Im sorry. I have no effort for this anymore, nor idea's nor time. Sorry.

I will have some other story's up, but no more "The Guide"

Sorry for your loss (like anyone actually reads it anyway)


End file.
